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<title>You drew hearts around my scars, but now I’m bleeding by Jahmana</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443803">You drew hearts around my scars, but now I’m bleeding</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jahmana/pseuds/Jahmana'>Jahmana</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Folk of the Air - Holly Black</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, References from some of Taylor Swifts songs, This is really sad, Why do I do this to myself, because why not, i cried a lot, they just want each other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:49:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jahmana/pseuds/Jahmana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He goes to lay back down, closing his eyes and imagining her warmth pressed against his. </p><p>He gets colder than ever when he realizes that she’s not there. </p><p>And she probably won’t be ever again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You drew hearts around my scars, but now I’m bleeding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sorry if this is kind of bad, it was just for fun</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Queen of Elfhame lays in her bed, the High King’s arms wrapped around her. Her hand is placed on his muscular chest, feeling comfort in his steady heartbeat. </p><p>The Queen looks at her King in his peaceful state, and can’t help but feel like this is the only thing she’ll ever need. He’s the only thing she’ll ever need. </p><p>She watches as he stirs, and then his eyes flutter open. He looks down at her like she’s the only thing worth looking at. Pure adoration so intense that she blushes and looks down.</p><p>It’s not until she looks back up again that her heart stutters to a stop. </p><p>It’s not her husband.</p><p>It’s his brother. </p><p>She panics. He’s looking at her like she’s prey, like he did in the Undersea. Before he made her kiss him. </p><p>His arms tighten around her waist and he pulls her in close. He leans down to her ear and she feels his breath against it. </p><p>“Cardan never wanted you. You were just a pawn in his game. In everyone’s game. Did you think he could love you, a mortal?</p><p>“He was bound to betray you, just like your twin and her husband, just like your father. You aren’t worth loving, Jude.</p><p>“You’ll never be worth loving.” </p><p>Jude wakes with a cry, clutching her hand. She looks down at her ruby ring, the one Cardan used to propose and a sob rips past her lips.</p><p>She takes it off and examines it, trying to find something about it worth keeping, but all she sees is the proof of her foolishness. Of her betrayal.</p><p>She throws it across the room, satisfied to see it bounce off the wall and land somewhere she can’t see. </p><p>The words Balekin spoke struck her like lightning. But it was nothing compared to the last thing he said, because the voice she heard wasn’t Balekin’s.</p><p>It was Cardan’s. </p><p>She feels a tear slip down her face and her body begins to tremble. She grabs at her hair and starts yanking, trying to keep the tears from coming, but when she pictures Cardan laughing at her, she can do nothing to stop them.</p><p>Jude curls in on herself and weeps. She learned long ago how to sob silently. Her tears soak the pillow and she hugs it like a lifeline. </p><p>Sometimes she pretends that he’s there to comfort her in times like these, but it only makes it worse when she realizes he’s not. And he never will be again. </p><p>A loud sob of pure agony rips through her lips, and she doesn’t care. Let Vivienne hear, let everyone hear how heartbroken she is. </p><p>Vivienne comes rushing in, and when she sees Jude, a horrible realization comes over her. Her sister has been screaming Cardan’s name in her sleep, not because of fear of him, but because she loves him.</p><p>And he broke her heart.</p><p>And Vivienne is gonna kick his ass.</p><p>“Oh Jude!” She cries as she runs farther into the room. She wraps her arms around her sister and hugs Jude while she cries. </p><p>When Jude finally stops, Vivienne realizes that she’s asleep. She kisses her forehead and lays her back down. </p><p>She watches as Jude hugs her pillow and mumbles her husband’s name. </p><p>Vivienne feels horrible for her younger sister. If Jude hasn’t already planned to kill Cardan, Vivienne might just do it herself. </p><p> </p><p>Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude</p><p>She’s everywhere. She’s in his bed and his head and his heart and he can’t get rid of her.</p><p>She haunts him every moment of every day and it just gets worse. </p><p>How he longs to see her again. To see her face scrunch up in a glare, or to see her eyes fill with hate. </p><p>Anything would be better than the Jude he sees in his dreams. </p><p>First she looks like she did when he and his friends harassed her, almost helpless, if not for that gleam in her eye.</p><p>Then her face contorts to how she looked when she was made the Queen of Mirth. Eyes full of contempt, and another emotion that he could never quite place. </p><p>Then she looks at him with the same hope she had in her eyes when they made their vows. </p><p>This was always the hardest to see. </p><p>Then her face contorts again, showing the way she looked at him when he said those words, those horrid words.</p><p>Pure hatred and loathing. He’s never heard the word hate ringing in his head so clearly before. He gets the same feeling each time.</p><p>First power</p><p>Then amusement </p><p>Then desire </p><p>And finally a pain more powerful than he’s ever known. </p><p>He always wakes in a cold sweat, crying her name and reaching for her perfectly warm body. </p><p>But it’s never there. </p><p>It’s a routine. He wipes his face with his hands, then runs them through his hair. </p><p>He turns to hug the other pillow, the pillow he hasn’t laid on in months. Her scent still lingers, yet fades more and more every day. </p><p>Cardan swears he can still see her imprint in his bed, and so he doesn’t let his maids change his bedding.</p><p>He needs her scent and her imprint to be able to sleep at night. Sometimes he hums the song he heard her singing one day.</p><p>It’s a lullaby, one of his favorites, but now all he hears is Jude’s voice. </p><p>Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude. </p><p>He walks to the balcony and looks up, wondering if Jude looks up at the sky too. </p><p>“Jude. Please come back to me. I can’t live without you.” He whispers to the sky, wishing she could hear him. </p><p>He closes his eyes, wishing he could feel her warm embrace again. Wishing he could feel how perfectly their bodies fit together. </p><p>He stays there until he can’t take it anymore. </p><p>He needs to see her. </p><p>It’s driving him mad. </p><p>He thought he was doing the right thing for the Kingdom, but what good can a heartbroken King do?  </p><p>He needs to see her again, to feel her warm body in his hands again. </p><p>“Gods, Jude. What have you done to me?” </p><p>He goes to lay back down, closing his eyes and imagining her warmth pressed against his. </p><p>He gets colder than ever when he realizes that she’s not there. </p><p>And she probably won’t be ever again. </p><p>He slowly falls asleep to her voice instead. </p><p>Right before sleep takes him, he realizes something.</p><p>He would give everything to have her again. </p><p>His Kingdom</p><p>His Crown </p><p>His subjects</p><p>His wine </p><p>His whole damn life. </p><p>“Everything.” He mumbles before falling backward into oblivion</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you liked it! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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